Ok, I will follow up on the previous post soon enough...until then...
I want to share my latest favorite tv show with you. It's about these close friends that have great style, and great sex, and they live in a great city.
I am such a dork. I have JUST NOW become a fan of Sex In The City. For some reason, I just couldn't get into it before. I would watch 10-15 minutes of an episode, but it just didn't appeal to me. Miranda annoyed the crap out of me and Samantha reminded me too much of parts of myself; Carrie's observations were too conveniently dead on and Charlotte seemed too...nice. Ick. Then, tonight, I watched the episode where Miranda gets married in the community garden, and Samantha finds out she has breast cancer. I loved it. I think it came at a good time, especially with Samantha sort of having a change of heart about her latest handsome conquest. I related to her big time, and now I want to watch every episode. By the time I get through them all, the movie will be airing on network tv. Perfect.
Monday, July 7
Wednesday, July 2
A Time for All
Time to make some changes. I'm starting off by closing my accounts on match and eharmony. I am so done with online dating. Next, I'm throwing out tons of material shit. It has consumed me, and I can't take it anymore.
What bothers me most, is how dishonest I've been with myself and those I care about. What would happen if I lived my life completely honestly? I've been pulling the wool over my eyes long enough that I'm not sure. I'm unhappy. Plain and simple. I can change that. So, I will. It's a beautiful day outside, I am taking my book and going to read somewhere; just get out of the house and return with a clearer head.
Stay tuned.
What bothers me most, is how dishonest I've been with myself and those I care about. What would happen if I lived my life completely honestly? I've been pulling the wool over my eyes long enough that I'm not sure. I'm unhappy. Plain and simple. I can change that. So, I will. It's a beautiful day outside, I am taking my book and going to read somewhere; just get out of the house and return with a clearer head.
Stay tuned.
Tuesday, June 24
Meanwhile, back at the Bat Cave...
What was I doing all that time I was away from my blog?
Well, I:
...participated in the Mighty Texas Dog Walk with 'Stache. So much fun; took my dog and Platinum - and she walked the entire thing with me! That's a long distance for a 5-year old. We turned around just a bit before the midpoint, but we still completed about 4/5 of the 5k.
...met some men. More on that later, really.
...lightened my hair to a strawberry blonde.
...broke up with someone. There will NOT be more on that later.
...ended my first year of teaching.
...decided to start saving to get a new car by December.
...turned 31. Acted like a 21 year old that night :-)
...bought some very, very nice shoes and handbags. I almost blogged about that the day I bought them - I'm that into shoes that they inspire me to reach for the keyboard, all the while ignoring any semblance of deep thought.
...went on a vacation to an island with my family.
...came back with a blistering sunburn from said island trip.
...pretended to be a proctologist named Dr. Anita Manda Cuppenpoke for a P Party. What's a P Party, you ask? Everyone comes dressed as something beginning with, you guessed it, the letter P. It was a good time for sure, but not quite the highlight of my partying month. My birthday night out gets that honor, hands down ;-)
...conquered a mild fear of the ocean, and boats on the ocean.
...was contacted by, I kid you not, 4 ex boyfriends. Well, the term "boyfriend" is used loosely here. Three of them were men that I had dated briefly (2-4 dates) last year, one was someone with a bit more significance. After talking to Christmas, I was reminded of a rather obvious bit of wisdom that I have chosen to ignore repeatedly as of late. Exes are exes for a reason, and that reason is virtually always present regardless of how much time has passed. I should tattoo this on my forearm for reference.
...met a man at a bar. I know, I know, I know...cliche and awful sounding, right? It gets worse (and yet, in some ways, better - even pretty good). I'll just let your imaginations run wild with this one. Three of my closest girlfriends know allllllll about it :-) Let's just say, Jerry Springer would have been proud of the aftermath.
I'm going to end this post on that high note. I'll expand on a few of the events another time, because they are worth exploring in order to sharpen my perspective...and, they're pretty damn funny.
Well, I:
...participated in the Mighty Texas Dog Walk with 'Stache. So much fun; took my dog and Platinum - and she walked the entire thing with me! That's a long distance for a 5-year old. We turned around just a bit before the midpoint, but we still completed about 4/5 of the 5k.
...met some men. More on that later, really.
...lightened my hair to a strawberry blonde.
...broke up with someone. There will NOT be more on that later.
...ended my first year of teaching.
...decided to start saving to get a new car by December.
...turned 31. Acted like a 21 year old that night :-)
...bought some very, very nice shoes and handbags. I almost blogged about that the day I bought them - I'm that into shoes that they inspire me to reach for the keyboard, all the while ignoring any semblance of deep thought.
...went on a vacation to an island with my family.
...came back with a blistering sunburn from said island trip.
...pretended to be a proctologist named Dr. Anita Manda Cuppenpoke for a P Party. What's a P Party, you ask? Everyone comes dressed as something beginning with, you guessed it, the letter P. It was a good time for sure, but not quite the highlight of my partying month. My birthday night out gets that honor, hands down ;-)
...conquered a mild fear of the ocean, and boats on the ocean.
...was contacted by, I kid you not, 4 ex boyfriends. Well, the term "boyfriend" is used loosely here. Three of them were men that I had dated briefly (2-4 dates) last year, one was someone with a bit more significance. After talking to Christmas, I was reminded of a rather obvious bit of wisdom that I have chosen to ignore repeatedly as of late. Exes are exes for a reason, and that reason is virtually always present regardless of how much time has passed. I should tattoo this on my forearm for reference.
...met a man at a bar. I know, I know, I know...cliche and awful sounding, right? It gets worse (and yet, in some ways, better - even pretty good). I'll just let your imaginations run wild with this one. Three of my closest girlfriends know allllllll about it :-) Let's just say, Jerry Springer would have been proud of the aftermath.
I'm going to end this post on that high note. I'll expand on a few of the events another time, because they are worth exploring in order to sharpen my perspective...and, they're pretty damn funny.
Hi, Atus!
So, after a brief hiatus from blogging, I've returned. Not that there's been a lack of events to blog about...quite the contrary. I've just not made the time - or, more accurately, I've been a bit lazy about it. Also, I kind of thought people didn't really read this thing :-) Lo and behold, several friends start asking "Hey, what happened to your blog?"
Excuse me, waiter, I'd like another order of whine and cheese, please...
Excuse me, waiter, I'd like another order of whine and cheese, please...
Sunday, April 27
Russells Teapot... yea, atheism!
'Stache has this linked in his blog...I shall do likewise. It's good readin'. Click on the comics section and enjoy a good chuckle at Christianity. I always do.
Thursday, April 17
Shhh...
Some secrets are meant to be kept, and some should be released as soon as possible. I hate having regrets, and now I have one less. My very closest friends will understand this, but for the most part, it will be a very private celebration for a long while...
Fine by me. There's plenty of time, and I need a lesson in patience these days.
Fine by me. There's plenty of time, and I need a lesson in patience these days.
Friday, April 11
Room. Room. Room. Room. Room...
Have you ever said a word often enough in a short period of time that it ended up sounding like complete gibberish? I clicked on a link in a friend's email today that was about mysterious brain functions. Most of it was about deja vu and related phenomena, but there was one part that was about brain fatigue and its effects. If you say (and according to the article, write) a simple common word often enough and as quickly as possible, you can turn it into something utterly meaningless. I did that with the word "room" today. Talking about clearing out space in my house left me muttering the word "room" repeatedly to myself this morning and eventually giggling at what a silly word it was.
I promise I am not high.
...
I was thinking of what to do with my soon-to-be-empty rooms. Hey - here's an idea: leave them empty!! That is the most likely scenario, but I am also thinking of putting a vintage typewriter in the one that faces the street. Just a typewriter and some paper. Maybe one of my antique lamps too. It would be an ideal writing room set-up... no distractions, peace and quiet, space. I have started on a journey of Fifty-Five Fiction. Look it up.
I promise I am not high.
...
I was thinking of what to do with my soon-to-be-empty rooms. Hey - here's an idea: leave them empty!! That is the most likely scenario, but I am also thinking of putting a vintage typewriter in the one that faces the street. Just a typewriter and some paper. Maybe one of my antique lamps too. It would be an ideal writing room set-up... no distractions, peace and quiet, space. I have started on a journey of Fifty-Five Fiction. Look it up.
Tuesday, April 8
Dating is Fun!
Hmm, what a trip dating can be. I had someone ask me out for a (repeat) date recently, and it went pretty well. Funny how two very, very different people can really tickle my fancy in nearly equal manners. For once, I really am getting the sense that everything will work itself out...I really can just chillax already. Not put all my eggs in one basket. I am enlightened and feeling refreshingly calm.
Sunday, April 6
Pinky Swears & Serenity Prayers
Over the next few weeks, I will be doing a major overhaul of my living quarters. I spoke with someone this weekend (he will be affectionately referred to as "RV") that gave me a renewed insight into how material possessions affect our well-being. No, RV is not affiliated with a cult or anything like that. He's just a fascinating man with ambition to spare, and an ability to let go and have faith that things will work out. That's a weakness of mine - letting faith prevail.
But faith is not passive, as I have often found myself thinking. Faith is not being lazy. It is not acting as though you are incapable. It is not letting others decide for you. Rather, it is confidence. It is maintaining confidence in your abilities. It is realizing that you are underestimating yourself. It is knowing that things WILL change...
When I was recovering from being anorexic and subsequently bulimic, I grew to love the Serenity Prayer. At first, I was hesitant to even speak it, simply for the fact that it was a "prayer"...but then my heart grew three sizes, and I realized what it had to offer. A framed print of it hangs in my closet, of all places, today. It's been there for 8 years, and I see it nearly everyday. Sometimes I just see it, literally. Other days I take a moment and let it sink in as I say it under my breath.
I substitute the word "Dog" for the word "God" in the opening line. Awful, I know, but saying "God" does nothing for me personally, so why bother? "Dog" isn't much better, but it fits with the flow of the verses, and it gives me a little grounding perspective. I mean, if a God, why not a Dog?
...
Where was I going with all this?
Right. Overhaul. A purging of the healthiest variety. I love a challenge...
'Stache and I just pinky swore** to manage our messes. He swears that he'll clear his storage unit...as long as I clear 2 of the upstairs rooms in my house. By the end of the month. Our combined levels of procrastination and distractibility should seal our fate. But I refuse to succumb this time! Really. I will be accountable to someone, and that makes all the difference. The last time I flirted with this concept, my BFF, Christmas, stayed in the room the whole time as I cleaned, cheering me on with phrases like, "You don't like that. You don't need that. That's a piece of crap and you know it. Platinum is smart without that toy. You will never glue/sew/display that [insert virtually any broken object here]. You will still be alive when that's in the trashcan outside. Think of all the poor, sad people that don't have any junk for their closets, you are depriving them of this joy." Such an inspiration. I need to record her voice and play it while I clean... I will post 'after' pictures when it is said and done (apparently by April 31st). My pride prevents me from posting 'before' pics. You lucky few who have been gifted with images of my pack-ratty-ness will just have to vouch for me when the time comes. Prepare to be in awe.
**Disclaimer: A pinky swear is null and void if there is no actual pinky skin contact between both parties. 'Stache, take notice.
But faith is not passive, as I have often found myself thinking. Faith is not being lazy. It is not acting as though you are incapable. It is not letting others decide for you. Rather, it is confidence. It is maintaining confidence in your abilities. It is realizing that you are underestimating yourself. It is knowing that things WILL change...
When I was recovering from being anorexic and subsequently bulimic, I grew to love the Serenity Prayer. At first, I was hesitant to even speak it, simply for the fact that it was a "prayer"...but then my heart grew three sizes, and I realized what it had to offer. A framed print of it hangs in my closet, of all places, today. It's been there for 8 years, and I see it nearly everyday. Sometimes I just see it, literally. Other days I take a moment and let it sink in as I say it under my breath.
I substitute the word "Dog" for the word "God" in the opening line. Awful, I know, but saying "God" does nothing for me personally, so why bother? "Dog" isn't much better, but it fits with the flow of the verses, and it gives me a little grounding perspective. I mean, if a God, why not a Dog?
...
Where was I going with all this?
Right. Overhaul. A purging of the healthiest variety. I love a challenge...
'Stache and I just pinky swore** to manage our messes. He swears that he'll clear his storage unit...as long as I clear 2 of the upstairs rooms in my house. By the end of the month. Our combined levels of procrastination and distractibility should seal our fate. But I refuse to succumb this time! Really. I will be accountable to someone, and that makes all the difference. The last time I flirted with this concept, my BFF, Christmas, stayed in the room the whole time as I cleaned, cheering me on with phrases like, "You don't like that. You don't need that. That's a piece of crap and you know it. Platinum is smart without that toy. You will never glue/sew/display that [insert virtually any broken object here]. You will still be alive when that's in the trashcan outside. Think of all the poor, sad people that don't have any junk for their closets, you are depriving them of this joy." Such an inspiration. I need to record her voice and play it while I clean... I will post 'after' pictures when it is said and done (apparently by April 31st). My pride prevents me from posting 'before' pics. You lucky few who have been gifted with images of my pack-ratty-ness will just have to vouch for me when the time comes. Prepare to be in awe.
**Disclaimer: A pinky swear is null and void if there is no actual pinky skin contact between both parties. 'Stache, take notice.
The Waiters
A big 'thank you' goes out to 'Stache this weekend. He is a pretty amazing guy. Be sure to tell him that to his face if you see him; he LOVES being told how sweet and kind he is! :-) After a great talk last weekend, he inspired me to get back into some volunteer work - and include Platinum in it! She is at a great age to comprehend the value in helping others, to understand how much exists beyond her own world. Her open and outgoing nature makes her a great candidate for serving others in some capacity; which is exactly what we did on Saturday.
Per 'Stache's suggestion, Platinum and I went to a nursing home and delivered balloons. I should have taken my camera along... I had been worried that there would be too much red tape and bureaucracy to wade through before actually being able to implement the plan. Not so. Every place I called was very pleased to hear the idea, and thrilled that we wanted to come by so soon. I called a handful of places in town last week, and we went out on Saturday morning, from about 10:00-12:00. We ended up at one that was centrally located and quite nice. They gave me a list of 15 residents that they knew would most benefit from a surprise visit such as ours. The first few were a little confused about who we were and why we were there. I guess it's not every day that some adorable blond comes in with a handful of colorful helium balloons and asks you what your favorite color is. They kept asking things like "Do you work here? Is it time for my shower? Do I know you?" They were grateful nonetheless, and Platinum was very courteous and patient with them.
...
I know they're adults and all, but honestly, some of them were rather similar to the children I work with. I could tell that their brains were still "them" but their bodies just wouldn't let them act as such. I got a little teary after the first two residents - felt too much like they were simply...
waiting...
...
There were two women near the end of our visit that simply adored Platinum and were just tickled that we were doing this 'just because'. They asked if we would be back again another day, to which I quickly replied "Absolutely!" I meant it. We will definitely be back. Next time, we'll do something less cumbersome than balloons. Perhaps individual flowers, perhaps a story time with Platinum reading aloud to them. We'll think of something, or just consult 'Stache again.
When was the last time you gave of yourself?
Per 'Stache's suggestion, Platinum and I went to a nursing home and delivered balloons. I should have taken my camera along... I had been worried that there would be too much red tape and bureaucracy to wade through before actually being able to implement the plan. Not so. Every place I called was very pleased to hear the idea, and thrilled that we wanted to come by so soon. I called a handful of places in town last week, and we went out on Saturday morning, from about 10:00-12:00. We ended up at one that was centrally located and quite nice. They gave me a list of 15 residents that they knew would most benefit from a surprise visit such as ours. The first few were a little confused about who we were and why we were there. I guess it's not every day that some adorable blond comes in with a handful of colorful helium balloons and asks you what your favorite color is. They kept asking things like "Do you work here? Is it time for my shower? Do I know you?" They were grateful nonetheless, and Platinum was very courteous and patient with them.
...
I know they're adults and all, but honestly, some of them were rather similar to the children I work with. I could tell that their brains were still "them" but their bodies just wouldn't let them act as such. I got a little teary after the first two residents - felt too much like they were simply...
waiting...
...
There were two women near the end of our visit that simply adored Platinum and were just tickled that we were doing this 'just because'. They asked if we would be back again another day, to which I quickly replied "Absolutely!" I meant it. We will definitely be back. Next time, we'll do something less cumbersome than balloons. Perhaps individual flowers, perhaps a story time with Platinum reading aloud to them. We'll think of something, or just consult 'Stache again.
When was the last time you gave of yourself?
Thursday, April 3
The return to innocence...
I-yih HI oh-I-HI eeyih, oh-ahhhh ee, oh-oh ahh-ee, oh HIeeYIH-YAH...
Wow, I can hear the Enigma chant in my head perfectly fine, but it's damn near impossible to spell it out phonetically. Fun time trying though.
This post has nothing to do with that song, and everything to do with my previous post about the oddly-placed sadness I felt while being a proud momma of my very beautiful and very theatrical, Platinum. Here is what the sad feeling was all about...
As a youth, I had eating disorders. It began when I was about 15, and lasted until I was about 20. Unlike what many people believe about the causes/origins of eating disorders, for me it had nothing to do with body image. I was not a number watcher, I did not weigh myself, I cared none whatsoever about my dress size. For me, I just simply stopped eating when I had a bout of depression in childhood that became downright excruciating by the time I was 15. I quit eating, plain and simple. Just up and lost my appetite. Rather than bore you with the details, I will list some statements about that period...
I lost about 40 pounds in the first month.
Nutritionists don't get it.
I can't remember about a year's worth of my life because of my state of starvation.
I have permanently damaged my heart and teeth because of my actions.
Spaghetti-Os were my binge food of choice when I was bulimic - easy in, easy out.
My rock bottom came the day before I finally told my parents a haunting secret.
Overcoming addiction is the second most difficult thing I've faced in my life, right up there behind death of a child.
I am SO over it. The feeling of enjoying food and being free of any eating hang-ups is such a joy.
Wow, I can hear the Enigma chant in my head perfectly fine, but it's damn near impossible to spell it out phonetically. Fun time trying though.
This post has nothing to do with that song, and everything to do with my previous post about the oddly-placed sadness I felt while being a proud momma of my very beautiful and very theatrical, Platinum. Here is what the sad feeling was all about...
As a youth, I had eating disorders. It began when I was about 15, and lasted until I was about 20. Unlike what many people believe about the causes/origins of eating disorders, for me it had nothing to do with body image. I was not a number watcher, I did not weigh myself, I cared none whatsoever about my dress size. For me, I just simply stopped eating when I had a bout of depression in childhood that became downright excruciating by the time I was 15. I quit eating, plain and simple. Just up and lost my appetite. Rather than bore you with the details, I will list some statements about that period...
I lost about 40 pounds in the first month.
Nutritionists don't get it.
I can't remember about a year's worth of my life because of my state of starvation.
I have permanently damaged my heart and teeth because of my actions.
Spaghetti-Os were my binge food of choice when I was bulimic - easy in, easy out.
My rock bottom came the day before I finally told my parents a haunting secret.
Overcoming addiction is the second most difficult thing I've faced in my life, right up there behind death of a child.
I am SO over it. The feeling of enjoying food and being free of any eating hang-ups is such a joy.
Daughters of mothers who've had eating disorders have 4 times the chance of developing one themselves...
...
That's what makes me sad. I hate to think of her experiencing the level of despair and suffering that I endured at an early age. Especially since mine had nothing to do with a mother that pushed me to be thin, or social pressures, or any other external shit like that. Depression is tricky, and even more so when it occurs in childhood. Luckily, Platinum does not have any of the factors that contributed to my depression, but still... I know - it is quite pointless to imagine all the "what-ifs", but we all do it. It helps us develop our game plans. And anyone who knows me knows I love a good, detailed plan o' action.
Platinum's outgoing, curious, confident nature is a thing of beauty, and I want it to last forever. Some level of pain is essential for developing coping skills; I will not shelter her from disappointment and sadness. However, I will ensure that she will always, ALWAYS know how I love her so...no matter what she does, or what someone else does to her, my love for her will persist and deepen infinitely.
Tuesday, April 1
Woeful Wendy, party of one
Do you ever have the feeling that you just have no idea what you're doing? In the grand scheme... It bugs me to not have a "plan". I like spontaneity, conflict, and a little chaos as much as the next person; but I really crave predictability. I like my life as it is today - my career, my job, my house, my finances, my social circle, my family...but a big component is missing. A relationship with a lover. Let me rephrase that: a steady, reliable relationship with a lover. I have stated in the not-so-distant past that I enjoy single life. I said it, but I lied. I totally love being someone's "other"...someone that I can call anytime, day or night; someone I don't have to impress, because they already think I rock even when I am sans makeup and my hair is a mess; someone that I can plan things with five months from now.
Potential is everywhere. However, the ebb and flow of it all is exhausting. I'm still enjoying it all, make no mistake. Maybe this blog will help me to better accept the opportunities in front of my nose.
I sense that this blog post just might self-destruct sooner than later...Post. Delete. Repeat.
I need an outlet, gotta give my friends a break now and then.
Potential is everywhere. However, the ebb and flow of it all is exhausting. I'm still enjoying it all, make no mistake. Maybe this blog will help me to better accept the opportunities in front of my nose.
I sense that this blog post just might self-destruct sooner than later...Post. Delete. Repeat.
I need an outlet, gotta give my friends a break now and then.
Sunday, March 30
Confidence of the Innocent
Overcast skies, slight drizzle, eventual sunshine and cool breezes...very nice weather to accompany my very nice weekend. This was one of the most relaxing weekends I've had in a long time. I spent Friday night taking my daughter, Platinum, to "Awesome Grocery Store" for our standard eve of dinner and live music. She is such a social butterfly; I love watching her work a crowd. Every time she strikes up a conversation with a stranger I glow with pride - proud that she is bolder than I was at her age, proud that she has oodles of confidence in her adorable 42 pound body. More about that later...
My friend, Rugby, went with us. We enjoyed some excellent pizza and a very smooth, velvety Australian Shiraz. Man, that was some good wine! I did tear the little 'remember this wine' tab off so i could get it again next time. Anyway, we had a nice relaxing time with easy conversation, and Platinum was really into exploring. She (verbally) negotiated her way into getting across the little retaining pond with Rugby. She's really good at negotiating. I see either legal defense/prosecution, or car sales in her professional future - let's all hope for the former (better get to savin'!). Rugby was a great sport and gave her a shoulder ride across the rocks and all down the trail on the other side of the hill. She had a blast, and was quite worn out by the time we got in the car to go home at 9:45pm. She passed out in the car, and I carried my flour sack of a child in to her bedroom and gave her an extra long hug as I considered my somewhat sad thoughts that came up as I had watched her being her usual, social self.
The "more about this later" part will indeed have to wait, as I am super tired from my fabulous weekend...which included a multi-stage, blissful date with 'Stache :-) It is absolutely post-worthy, but I might keep this good time to myself - don't wanna jinx anything, ya know? Trying to stick to my previously stated oath and all...
My friend, Rugby, went with us. We enjoyed some excellent pizza and a very smooth, velvety Australian Shiraz. Man, that was some good wine! I did tear the little 'remember this wine' tab off so i could get it again next time. Anyway, we had a nice relaxing time with easy conversation, and Platinum was really into exploring. She (verbally) negotiated her way into getting across the little retaining pond with Rugby. She's really good at negotiating. I see either legal defense/prosecution, or car sales in her professional future - let's all hope for the former (better get to savin'!). Rugby was a great sport and gave her a shoulder ride across the rocks and all down the trail on the other side of the hill. She had a blast, and was quite worn out by the time we got in the car to go home at 9:45pm. She passed out in the car, and I carried my flour sack of a child in to her bedroom and gave her an extra long hug as I considered my somewhat sad thoughts that came up as I had watched her being her usual, social self.
The "more about this later" part will indeed have to wait, as I am super tired from my fabulous weekend...which included a multi-stage, blissful date with 'Stache :-) It is absolutely post-worthy, but I might keep this good time to myself - don't wanna jinx anything, ya know? Trying to stick to my previously stated oath and all...
1, 20, or 50
I bought a book for someone today...they haven't received it yet, but they will in the near future. I like giving surprise, for-no-reason gifts once in a while... It's light, fluffy subject matter - intended to entertain you and your drinking buddies, or simply help you pass the time (and other things...) while seeing a man about a horse. I prefer the former.
Here's a sample from the book:
Someone has left a $20 bill floating in the toilet in a public restroom. The water appears clean. What do you do? Would your answer change if it was a $1 or a $50?
...
I have no shame. I would pick it up no matter the value. Money's money. There are 75% more infectious germs on the door handle of the stall and the handle of the sink combined than in the water of the toilet bowl alone. Ok, I made that up, but it just might be true. Think about it. The toilet flushes repeatedly, the water that enters is clean, your urine is sterile when it exits your body...I know the other stuff isn't, but still. Most money has plenty of funk on it already, and we handle with abandon. So, the next time you ask to borrow money from me, think twice about it. It could be from my "potty cash" stash.
Here's a sample from the book:
Someone has left a $20 bill floating in the toilet in a public restroom. The water appears clean. What do you do? Would your answer change if it was a $1 or a $50?
...
I have no shame. I would pick it up no matter the value. Money's money. There are 75% more infectious germs on the door handle of the stall and the handle of the sink combined than in the water of the toilet bowl alone. Ok, I made that up, but it just might be true. Think about it. The toilet flushes repeatedly, the water that enters is clean, your urine is sterile when it exits your body...I know the other stuff isn't, but still. Most money has plenty of funk on it already, and we handle with abandon. So, the next time you ask to borrow money from me, think twice about it. It could be from my "potty cash" stash.
Thursday, March 27
French Lesson
I have a tendency to bring up serious topics late at night. I'm not really sure why I do this. I'm usually tired, but my brain is racing with thoughts of questions unanswered, and anxieties unfounded. Shutting up is almost always the best option, but I speak my mind anyway. I spoke up last night (this morning, really) when my otherwise fantastic date with 'Stache was winding down. We had been enjoying ourselves immensely all evening - dinner at "Awesome Restaurant", drinks at "Awesome Bar", and coffee on his cushy couch (complete with a blankie-snuggling dog that is beyond cute). And of course we made out, like teenagers. You know, the kind of making out that leaves you a little lightheaded from the rerouted blood flow and from a level of restraint that is similar to the level that you experience when you are confronted with a really great pair of patent leather Nike/Cole Haan shoes with a graceful pointed toe and delicate little buckle across the top that are on clearance for $100. You try them on, but know that you absolutely shouldn't buy them. You don't need them, but holy frickin' frick you want them!
*sigh*
So, it was kinda like that...following me, people? K. It is at this point - when things are, of course, about as peachy as they can get - that I think to myself, "Hmm, self, why don't you ask him that question that's been on your mind for the past few days? You know, the one you do not want to hear the answer to, but secretly hope it's the answer you want? Yeah, yeah! The big DTR* talk! God, the timing couldn't be better!!" Something in me must have had some authority to override my better judgement, because I asked. I said, "So, I am going to ask you something, and I want the honest answer..." Yeah... Ladies, don't lead with this. Fellas, this is french for 'lie to me'. Look it up, it is.
I asked, "Are you actively pursuing other people to date?" As soon as the words escaped my freshly smooched lips, I regretted it. I knew I was in over my anxious little head regardless of the answer. I'm telling you, shut up about anything remotely serious after 11:00 pm. His answer is irrelevant now. I knew already, but just wanted to hear it so that my mind would stop the harassing phone calls to my heart, asking to pay the bill already and be bold with my emotions. Nah, not a good plan. Forgive that bill, please. I have to learn to just chill and enjoy the people in my life for who they are, and what they can be to me. Many previous relationships have drowned because of my thrist for the DTR moment. Take, for example, my brief time with Pants. He had so much potential, so much to offer. We were passionate lovers, fun friends, and loving parents to our respective children. Coulda been pretty cool. Enter Anxious Pinot. Ah well. We "broke up", if you can even call it that, via text after about 6 weeks, then reconnected after Valentine's Day. Soon afterward, a date came up out of nowhere, and we have considered trying it out again. I immediately resolved to not be that girl that I had been before. I would simply enjoy whatever opportunities came my way and do my best to avoid the overthinking game, of which I am a pro.
Along came 'Stache and I have since scrapped that whole plan. Darn you, and your adorable dog. 'Stache knows my dirty little secret now, and he still wants to date me... I am happy. Pants and I still communicate, but I have no idea where that will go and I am okay with just watching it progress as one would watch a cloud floating across a late afternoon sky...slow, steady, and entirely out of my control.
...
So, my oath:
I, Pinot, do solemnly swear to check myself often; to keep my unanswered relationship-y questions to my own damn self after 11:00 pm on weeknights; and to feel the love and accept it for what it is, in the moment: pure and peachy.
*DTR=define the relationship. Not for the faint of heart. Do not ride this ride if you have an irregular heartbeat, back problems, high blood pressure, gout, or are recovering from recent surgery.
*sigh*
So, it was kinda like that...following me, people? K. It is at this point - when things are, of course, about as peachy as they can get - that I think to myself, "Hmm, self, why don't you ask him that question that's been on your mind for the past few days? You know, the one you do not want to hear the answer to, but secretly hope it's the answer you want? Yeah, yeah! The big DTR* talk! God, the timing couldn't be better!!" Something in me must have had some authority to override my better judgement, because I asked. I said, "So, I am going to ask you something, and I want the honest answer..." Yeah... Ladies, don't lead with this. Fellas, this is french for 'lie to me'. Look it up, it is.
I asked, "Are you actively pursuing other people to date?" As soon as the words escaped my freshly smooched lips, I regretted it. I knew I was in over my anxious little head regardless of the answer. I'm telling you, shut up about anything remotely serious after 11:00 pm. His answer is irrelevant now. I knew already, but just wanted to hear it so that my mind would stop the harassing phone calls to my heart, asking to pay the bill already and be bold with my emotions. Nah, not a good plan. Forgive that bill, please. I have to learn to just chill and enjoy the people in my life for who they are, and what they can be to me. Many previous relationships have drowned because of my thrist for the DTR moment. Take, for example, my brief time with Pants. He had so much potential, so much to offer. We were passionate lovers, fun friends, and loving parents to our respective children. Coulda been pretty cool. Enter Anxious Pinot. Ah well. We "broke up", if you can even call it that, via text after about 6 weeks, then reconnected after Valentine's Day. Soon afterward, a date came up out of nowhere, and we have considered trying it out again. I immediately resolved to not be that girl that I had been before. I would simply enjoy whatever opportunities came my way and do my best to avoid the overthinking game, of which I am a pro.
Along came 'Stache and I have since scrapped that whole plan. Darn you, and your adorable dog. 'Stache knows my dirty little secret now, and he still wants to date me... I am happy. Pants and I still communicate, but I have no idea where that will go and I am okay with just watching it progress as one would watch a cloud floating across a late afternoon sky...slow, steady, and entirely out of my control.
...
So, my oath:
I, Pinot, do solemnly swear to check myself often; to keep my unanswered relationship-y questions to my own damn self after 11:00 pm on weeknights; and to feel the love and accept it for what it is, in the moment: pure and peachy.
*DTR=define the relationship. Not for the faint of heart. Do not ride this ride if you have an irregular heartbeat, back problems, high blood pressure, gout, or are recovering from recent surgery.
Tuesday, March 25
TMYK
Alcohol changes people. For the majority of cute girls, drinking makes you cuter, and when a generous male friend drinks with you, you have a license to bitch at will and still be seen as cute because they aren't really listening to you anyway. They are watching your cleavage jiggle as you laugh at your own verbal blunders. This is okay, let them watch. Be kind to others who pay for your drinks.
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